SEPTEMBER 13, 1930

Full News Archive

• Headline: Robins Triumph Over Reds, Extend Winning Streak. Impact: The Robins' victory led to a prophecy among baseball fans that every eighth game played by any team would result in an unexpected home run. This caused a bizarre spike in baseball-themed parties in 2025, where people would only serve 'homer' desserts.. Fact: Fun fact: 'Robins' actually refers to the players, not the birds. But wouldn't it be more fun if they played in nests?.
• Headline: Soviet Outlaw's New Business Venture. Impact: Delgass's defection and business establishment sparked a wave of entrepreneurial spirit among ex-Soviet officials. This eventually led to the global 'Exile Entrepreneurs' conference in 1978, where attendees shared tips on how to avoid getting outlawed.. Fact: Interestingly, Amtorg was just a front for selling really bad Soviet-made memorabilia. No one wanted a 'Lenin bobblehead' after 1950..
• Headline: DECRIES INDECENT PLAYS.; Mgr. Lavelle Says Only a public Opinion Can Bring Reforms.. Impact: Lavelle's call for reform ignited a movement that led to the creation of 'Theatrical Purity Police' in 1945, aiming to ensure all plays were as bland as possible. As a result, Shakespeare became a popular children's puppet show.. Fact: Lavelle's efforts were so effective that the term 'indecent play' was eventually used to describe any production that included more than two characters on stage..
• Headline: TWO DIE, TEN HURT IN FIRE AT NEWARK; Sleeping Children Are Fatally Burned in Beds as Flames Sweep Tenement House. THREE MEN LEAP INTO NET Policemen and Firemen Carry Women and Youngsters Down Stairways and Ladders.. Impact: This tragic event led to stricter fire safety regulations, ultimately resulting in the invention of 'fireproof pajamas' in 1960. Though, it took a while for people to realize that pajamas alone wouldn't prevent fires.. Fact: The heroic actions of the responders inspired a series of action films in the 1970s, where firefighters were portrayed as superheroes. Spoiler alert: they didn't wear capes..
• Headline: MARINE TEAM IN LEAD.; Shows Way in the National Rifle Match.. Impact: The Marines' success led to the establishment of a 'Marine Marksmanship Day,' which eventually evolved into a yearly event where civilians compete against the Marines with water guns. Hilarity ensues.. Fact: The Marines are so good at shooting that they once successfully hit a target 200 miles away...but only because it was a giant inflatable duck..
• Headline: Prohibits Noisy Horns on Buses.. Impact: This decision led to a nationwide conspiracy among bus drivers who started creating elaborate horn symphonies, eventually leading to the first 'Bus Horn Orchestra' performance in 1985.. Fact: If only they had known that the quieter the bus, the louder the complaints from passengers about the driver’s choice of radio station..
• Headline: MAGIC FLINT WINS TITLE AT MINEOLA; Adjudged Champion in Class for Hunters and Jumpers as Horse Show Closes. RESERVE TO CURRY SAUCE Morning Glow Takes Championship for Saddle Ponies Under 14.2, Defeating Sparkle.. Impact: Magic Flint's victory inspired a generation of horse enthusiasts, leading to the formation of a cult-like following around competitive equestrian names. In 2024, there was a movement to name all show horses after condiments.. Fact: Interestingly, 'Curry Sauce' was the horse’s real name, but it got shortened for show purposes. I mean, who wants to yell 'Curry Sauce!' every time it wins?.
• Headline: CONCEDE DRY LAW AS THE ISSUE IN 1932; WHEELER FOR REPEAL; Washington Politicians Awakened by Wet Victories in theRepublican Primaries.DEMOCRATIC PLANK LOOMSParty Will Name a Wet, SaysSenator Wheeler, a Dry, Assailing Law as a Failure. McBRIDE CALLS TO BATTLE Woodcock Asks for $2,200,000 Moreto Add 500 Men to His Enforcement Staff. Wheeler Compares Saloon Days. DRY LAW CONCEDED AS ISSUE IN 1932 Goes to Aid of Senator Walsh. Just before Congress adjourned, Republican Leaders Surprised. Woodcock Asks for More Money. No More Women Dry Agents. McBride Blames "Alien Class.". Impact: The shift in public opinion on the Dry Law led to the rise of speakeasies, which eventually turned into hip bars where artisanal cocktails are crafted by people with handlebar mustaches and ironic glasses.. Fact: It's amusing to think that for a while, the government believed they could actually enforce sobriety. Spoiler alert: people just got more creative with their drinking..
• Headline: PROTEST TICKET PENALTY.; Agency Heads Fight Suspension for Four Weeks by League.. Impact: This protest sparked a massive movement against ticket penalties, eventually leading to the establishment of 'Free Ticket Fridays' in 2030, where everyone just gets free tickets to everything... except the DMV.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more confusing than ticket penalties is the fine print on those tickets. You know, the one that says you’re not allowed to win anything ever..