JULY 23, 1930

Full News Archive

• Headline: Royal Luncheon: Britain Meets Iraq. Impact: When King Britain hosted Iraq, it sparked a chain reaction that led to a global obsession with royal luncheons, culminating in today's reality shows featuring celebrity chefs cooking for monarchs. Because who needs peace in the Middle East when you can have a good soufflé?. Fact: Did you know that royal lunches have more protocol than a NASA launch? Forks are arranged in such a way that even the slightest mistake could start a diplomatic incident!.
• Headline: Colonel Gevana's Banana Disease Study. Impact: The study of banana disease in Jamaica led to a banana shortage that ultimately resulted in the invention of banana-flavored everything, including that questionable smoothie you had last week. You're welcome.. Fact: Did you know that bananas are actually berries? Which makes them a berry big deal in the fruit world!.
• Headline: Queens Democratic Leader Passes Away. Impact: The untimely demise of this political figure started a series of heart health campaigns, which ironically led to the increased sales of junk food in the '80s. Because nothing says 'healthy living' like a heart attack followed by fast food marketing.. Fact: Heart disease is often referred to as the 'silent killer'. If only it had a more aggressive marketing campaign, it might have been avoided!.
• Headline: Davis, Donor of Tennis Cup, Advocates New Zone of Play for Nations of Far East. Impact: Davis's proposal for a new zone of play turned out to be the precursor for international tensions in sports, leading to the creation of niche Olympic sports that no one understands but everyone roots for, like synchronized swimming. Thanks, D.F. Davis!. Fact: Did you know that every country has its own unique sport? In the Far East, they even compete in 'extreme ironing'. Yes, that's a thing..
• Headline: HOOVER ASKS RULING ON APPOINTIVE RIGHT; Asks Mitchell if Can Can Name Power Commission Members During the Recess.. Impact: Hoover's request for ruling on appointive rights paved the way for future presidents to seek loopholes, leading to a series of questionable appointments that would make even the most seasoned political analyst cringe. Thanks, Herbert!. Fact: Did you know that Herbert Hoover was a mining engineer before becoming president? Proof that even the best miners can dig themselves into a political hole!.
• Headline: TWO HURT IN AUTO CRASH.; Jersey City Couple Are in Hospital at Bennington, Vt.. Impact: The auto crash in Jersey City resulted in a dramatic increase in traffic safety laws, which ultimately led to the creation of those annoying 'Do Not Disturb' signs in cars. Thanks to H. P. Boetcher and M. A. Fahlenbrock, we now have rules to keep us from being distracted while we text!. Fact: Did you know that the first traffic light was installed in 1868? It's hard to believe that people were driving around without a clear indication of when to stop and go!.
• Headline: 5 GERMAN FIREBOATS FIGHT BLAZE ON ELBE; Eight Fire Brigades Help Prevent Spread of Flames From River Shipyard.. Impact: The fire on the Elbe led to a surge in fire safety regulations across Europe, which ultimately inspired a generation of paranoid homeowners to create their own fire drills, resulting in a national obsession with smoke detectors. Who knew a shipyard fire could spark such caution?. Fact: Did you know that the Elbe River is one of the longest rivers in Europe? It has seen more drama than a daytime soap opera!.
• Headline: JONES'S GOLF SHOTS SNAPPED BY CAMERA; Superspeed Device, Taking 3,200 Pictures a Second, Records Wizardry of Champion.PLAN IS TO HELP TEACHINGP. G. A. Will Distribute the Photos--Vardon and Miss Wethered to Be Taken Also. Demonstrates Practice Shots. Noise Fails to Bother Jones.. Impact: The invention of the super-speed camera for golf shots revolutionized the game, leading to golf lessons being taught by robots in the 21st century. Because if you can’t beat the machines, you might as well let them teach your swing!. Fact: Did you know that golf is the only sport to have been played on the moon? Talk about a hole in one!.