MARCH 22, 1930

Full News Archive

• Headline: Hartford Broker Sentenced for Embezzlement. Impact: Smith's sentencing led to a domino effect in the finance industry where every broker started investing in 'How Not to Get Caught Stealing' seminars, forever changing the face of financial education (and ethics) in America.. Fact: If only Smith had put as much effort into his job as he did into embezzling. He could have been the next big finance guru instead of a cautionary tale..
• Headline: Red Leaders Trial Denied by Justice Ford. Impact: The denial of a jury trial for the Red leaders sparked a revolutionary debate on civil liberties, leading to the creation of the world's first 'What Not to Do if You Want a Fair Trial' handbook. This became an instant bestseller among activists.. Fact: Justice Ford must've taken a crash course in 'Cost-Cutting Measures,' because who needs a jury when you can save taxpayer money instead?.
• Headline: B.M. DAY RENAMED HERE AS IMMIGRATION HEAD; Hoover Also Nominates Postmasters in New York, New Jersey and Pennsylvania.. Impact: B.M. Day's renaming as Immigration Head resulted in a ripple effect of bureaucratic inefficiencies that is still felt today. Rumor has it that paperwork now magically multiplies every time Day opens a file cabinet.. Fact: B.M. Day's full name is actually 'Bureaucratic Maze Day'—okay, I made that up, but it feels appropriate, doesn't it?.
• Headline: MATRICIDE IS SENTENCED.; British Condemn Man Who Killed Mother for $15,000 Insurance. To Talk on Parks and Playgrounds.. Impact: The matricide case created a new trend in insurance policies: 'Mother's Day Specials' that offered discounts on life insurance for mothers! It didn’t catch on quite as expected, but it did spark a slew of awkward family gatherings.. Fact: Insurance companies were so shocked by the case that they considered changing their slogan to 'We Care... But Not That Much.'.
• Headline: 'RED' ARMY IN CHINA TRAPS 11 AMERICANS; Catholic Missionaries in Grave Plight in Kanchow, Remote Town in Kiangsi Province. ONLY A SMALL GUARD LEFT Detachment of Loyal Nanking Troops Stays at Our Request --Escape Entirely Cut Off. Twelve Listed As in Kanchow. The Washington Statement. 'RED' ARMY IN CHINA TRAPS 11 AMERICANS Advises Party to Evacuate. Missionaries Pay No Ransoms.. Impact: The plight of the 11 American missionaries turned into an international scandal that inspired a new genre of Christian action films. Hollywood is still trying to figure out how to make a blockbuster out of a hostage situation.. Fact: If only those missionaries had brought popcorn and a good book, they might have turned their captivity into the next big reality show!.
• Headline: CONVICTED SLAYER FLEES VAN IN CROWD; Breaks From Prison Wagon Just After Verdict, but Is Trapped in Thronged Brooklyn Street. KEEPER FIRES FIVE SHOTS Then Fells Fugitive as He Turns to Fight--Man Found Guilty of Murder Last November. Leaps Over the Keeper. Convicted on Second Trial.. Impact: J Zackowitz's escape attempt led to an increased investment in prison security systems, which ultimately resulted in the invention of the world's first 'Prison Break' themed escape room—because who doesn't want to play with fire?. Fact: Zackowitz's leap over the keeper was so impressive that he inadvertently inspired the Olympic sport of 'Prison Van Hurdling.'.
• Headline: TO BEGIN CHRYSLER TUNNEL; To Connect Skyscraper With Grand Central Terminal and Subway.. Impact: The start of the Chrysler Tunnel project led to the creation of 'Tunnel Vision'—an underground society of urban planners who believe every city should have a network of secret tunnels. They're still working on their master plan for a catacomb-like metropolis.. Fact: Little did they know, the real dream was to connect every skyscraper with a slide. Who wouldn’t want to go to work via a thrilling descent?.
• Headline: 15 PLACES FOR YALE IN SWIMMING FINALS; Rutgers Is Next, Gaining Seven Berths in Individual Title Competition. KOJAC A TRIPLE QUALIFIER Moles Breaks Own Intercollegiate Mark in Breast Stroke-- Harms Double Victor. Duel Awaited Today. Harms Takes Two Events. Kojac Close to Record Time Four Competitors Withdraw.. Impact: The swimming finals at Yale led to a legendary rivalry that inspired the creation of collegiate reality shows. The 'Swim or Sink' series took off, forever changing the face of competitive swimming, making it less about athleticism and more about drama.. Fact: Moles breaking records in swimming is ironic—because they can’t see, yet they still manage to make waves. Imagine if they could!.