MARCH 15, 1973

Full News Archive

• Headline: U.N. Security Council Meeting in Panama. Impact: Little did they know, this meeting would lead to a never-ending cycle of U.N. meetings that would make bureaucracy an Olympic sport. The Panama Canal would continue to be a hot topic, but only at cocktail parties among diplomats.. Fact: Did you know that Panama is not just famous for its canal? It's also home to the world's best excuses for why nothing gets done at the U.N.!.
• Headline: Nixon's Anti-Crime Initiative to Congress. Impact: As Nixon sent his crime plan, politicians everywhere realized that proposing laws is a great way to make it look like you're doing something without actually doing anything. The legacy of empty promises continues to this day.. Fact: Did you know that 'anticrime proposals' have become synonymous with 'we'll talk about it but nothing will change'? It's practically a political motto!.
• Headline: Trucker-Mafia Allegation Discredited. Impact: The retraction of this claim led to a series of unfortunate events where truckers and mobsters could no longer bond over their shared love of smuggling—resulting in a nationwide shortage of truck stop coffee.. Fact: Fun fact: Truckers are known to have the best conspiracy theories about the Mafia, but apparently, they should stick to their own 'whodunit' stories instead!.
• Headline: HOUSE HOLDS UP CODE OF EVIDENCE. Impact: By postponing this code, Congress inadvertently paved the way for countless hours of lawyerly debates and courtroom dramas. The legal system became a never-ending soap opera, minus the catchy theme song.. Fact: Did you know that Congress loves to postpone things more than a teenager loves to avoid doing homework? It’s practically their hobby!.
• Headline: Bergen G.O.P. Insurgents To Subpoena Party Chiefs. Impact: This subpoena saga would spark a trend of political infighting that would culminate in more reality TV shows than anyone could have predicted. Welcome to the circus of American politics!. Fact: Did you know that the more you subpoena party chiefs, the more you realize that politics is basically just a really expensive game of 'who can shout louder'?.
• Headline: 4 Bomb Explosions Rock 2 Port Cities on Cyprus. Impact: The bombings would lead to an escalation of conflict that would change the landscape of Cyprus forever, resulting in divisions that are still relevant today and a reminder of the devastating consequences of political strife.. Fact: This tragic event serves as a grim reminder that sometimes, the fight for peace can lead to devastating consequences, echoing throughout history..
• Headline: Racially Tense High School Shut For 2d Straight Day in Buffalo. Impact: This closure highlighted the deep-rooted racial tensions in education that would ripple through generations, impacting policies and societal norms long after the students graduated.. Fact: Did you know that high school is supposed to be the best years of your life? Apparently, it’s also the place where the world’s problems come to hang out!.
• Headline: NIXON PLANS SALES FROM STOCKPILES. Impact: When Nixon decided to sell metals, he unknowingly set off a chain reaction that would lead to future presidents thinking they could just sell off whatever was left in the closet whenever prices got too high. Spoiler: It didn’t work out well.. Fact: Did you know that selling stockpiles is like clearing out your attic? You think you’re making money, but in reality, you just end up with more junk!.
• Headline: LEBANESE TRADERS VEXING LIBERIANS. Impact: This tension between Lebanese traders and Liberians would inadvertently sow the seeds for future economic debates, leading to discussions about fairness that would echo in international trade policies for decades.. Fact: Did you know that when it comes to economic control, everyone has an opinion? It's like Thanksgiving dinner, but instead of turkey, it’s all about who gets the biggest slice of the pie!.
• Headline: Senate Approves the Use Of Road Funds for Transit. Impact: This decision would result in a transportation revolution, paving the way for a love-hate relationship with public transit that continues to frustrate commuters to this day. Thanks, Senate!. Fact: Did you know that spending road funds on transit is like using your lunch money to buy a gym membership? It might sound good, but the execution can be a bit rocky!.